yikes

EEK! It's been almost a week since my last post. Dear non-reader, I apologize for the delay.

Today I am off from work, and I actually slept. It was insanely lovely. Of course, I also went to bed around 9pm, haha. MRNO joked this morning that he could tell I was tired last night because I came in, grunted, and went to sleep. For my part, I swear that I actually said "good night", but it's entirely possible that I didn't, haha. I was as exhausted as hell yesterday. I felt ready to pass out for most of the day.

Having volunteered/worked in the non-profit sector for several years, I've done more than my fair share of mailings. A friend of mine is bringing over a mailing that she's been working on and I'm hopefully going to get it squared away for her. I think she's bringing 500 pieces or so, which is a relatively small amount of work. After that, I'm off to finish my Christmas shopping. Er... okay, *begin* my Christmas shopping. yikes.

My family/friends back home in Oregon will have to wait until I'm home to receive their gifts as I haven't a) actually bought them yet and b) er.. well, yeah, that's actually about it.

My dad just called me! :) Exciting. :) That always makes me smile.

I hope that you're all getting ready for a WONDERFUL Christmas! :)

Don't Stop Believing

...she took the midnight train going annnyyyyywhere....

er.. hello.

sorry about that. Just singing a little bit. :)

Today had good parts and bad parts. I dearly love MRNO and his best friend MRBFF. She and I are super good friends as well. Unfortunately, she was really sick today, and drama ensued. I'm not entirely sure how to describe what happened, and I really don't think that it's my place to do so, but regardless, I felt pretty badly about how things went down.

For now, I'm off to have a glass of wine-- yay for birthday gifts!-- and make a cheesecake for a Christmas party tomorrow. I'm also responsible for the "punch" at the party, so I shall be going booze-shopping tomorrow. woohoo! haha

I'm really not a lush. Really. I talk about it alot, because it's kind of a taboo topic in my family, so any mention of alcohol is rarely made in my day to day life with people back home.

Beautiful days!

Happy Birthday... What have you done that matters?

So... in case you couldn't figure it out... today is my birthday.

I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. My boss and a few coworkers know that it's my birthday. My sisters and a couple friends from back home remembered, which was really sweet. My best friends forgot, haha.. big surprise there. My roommate doesn't know it's my birthday, and I'm really hoping that the day can just pass on by. The idea that I'm somehow putting someone out or making them have to think of me puts me in an uncomfortable position. So.. I sit back and watch the world go by. This is why I have no life, haha.

I did alot of reflecting today about my favorite birthday--- my 15th to be exact, and the last birthday I had with my mom.

Mama and Dad and I went to a tea parlor, and than out to my favorite restaurant-- Sweet Tomatoes. An AMAZING little buffet that serves healthy (and crazily yummy) food.

Today has been nice. I got a blender and a bottle of wine. :) Not to mention numerous gift cards(woohoo!). I need to go continue filing, but I felt the need to complete this post.

I hope that ALL of your days are beautiful. :)

In Search of Humanity

It would be nice to make a real connection with someone. I always wanted to be the person who knew the people who worked at the corner market-- who was known by name by the Chinese food delivery guy. The girl who would ask the gas station attendent about his family.

Instead, I slip by quietly, not remembered the next day.

Last night was interesting. At the hotel I work at there were some folks having a big party with a dance floor, and my group was invited to come over and hang out. I don't know what it is, but I cannot dance in front of people. Sure, give me enough to drink, and I'll be out ont he dance floor, but even then, I'l only be there for a few minutes before going back to my seat. As long as other people are having a good time, I'm completely content to sit and read. But I get seriously stressed at the thought of being on the dance floor in front of others. So, I snuck out when my friends were talking and sat down outside to read, pleased to be away from the awkwardness.

There are few things in life that I positively cannot stand, but standing around awkwardly is one of them. I have serious issues when it comes to that, and I'm not entirely sure why. I just freeze up, and have to leave the situtation. I wasn't trying to get attention, I just seriously wanted to be left alone. I LOVE to dance, but if I'm in front of other people as I was last night, the thought of being in that room left me slightly freaking out. I don't know how to dance well, and putting myself on display like that feels completely humiliating.

Three of my friends came out to find me and try to get me and that humiliated me further, because I felt as though they weren't having a good time because they were thinking about me. And, honestly, I'm used to not being remembered by people. I'm perfectly content to sit back and be behind the scenes making sure that everyone else is taken care of. As long as they're happy, I'm fine.

They insisted that they were going to leave if I didn't come out, so I came for one song, and just freaked. And instead of just letting me be, they insisted that I actually dance. And when I stood to the side, they decided they would actually dance next to me. I was so relieved when one of my friends realized how truly stressed I was, and said it was fine if I wanted to leave.

I honestly DO love to dance. But something about dancing on a dance floor like that triggers something in my brain that is not happy. At all. I have gone out dancing before, but it's not my idea of a great time. Hopefully one day someone will actually teach me how to not look like a complete fool.

I'm so tired of feeling awkward and inferior. Damn lack of self-confidence. About just about anything. haha. I MUCH prefer to be behind the scenes making sure that everything is going smoothly.

Regardless, I need to stop venting about this, and start cleaning my kitchen. MRNO has promised to make stew. yay!! Hopefully when he gets home the kitchen will be more usable for him.

Haha... .looking at what I had titled this post, I realize that this particular post was supposed to be about something else entirely. Maybe one day I'll actually broach that topic. In the meantime....

Happy Sunday! Happy thoughts. :)

EVIDENCE FOUND OF LIFE

My life, that is. Heh.

Tomorrow morning(Dear Lord, why did I make plans for Saturday morning???) I have a modeling gig! Excitement abounds. :)

Today was not nearly as productive at work as it needed to be, to the point that I'm considering coming in on Sunday. No. No. No. I REFUSE to come in on Sunday.... on the other hand, if I don't get more work done before my boss gets in on Sunday, he may very well rethink his generous offer of extra time off for Christmas this year. Yipes.

Staying late today, it is. woohoo!

After I finish this post, I'm looking at another hour, tops, and then it's off to do Christmas/birthday/modeling shoot shopping. :)

I'm doing a "faces" shoot with the photographer, so I need some interesting scarves or some such item. We'll see what I can find.

Oh! Full Kee in Chinatown-- excellent eats! I *highly* recommend their crab rangoon. It. Is. TASTY.

I mentioned above that I need to do some birthday shopping-- next Monday I'm heading to a birthday dinner, as well as a birthday lunch. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if either of these occaisons are intended as a gift exchange(as it's my birthday as well) but I'll be damned if I'm caught off guard by such a thing.

*sigh*

Time to finish this post and continue working. Time to plow through and get much accomplished. Time to sign off!

In search of sleep..

Once again, I overslept. Of course, that implies that I actually slept at all, which is a bit of an overstatement.

*sigh* back on sleeping medicine for me. I need to actually go to bed, go to sleep, and be rested in the morning. I haven't had a good nights sleep since long before the election.

$4 Wine

After an evening of discussing with MRNO the possibility of revamping the kitchen to better suit our needs, he decided the evening called for a glass of wine. Being the wine connoisseurs we are, we chose to check out the vast wine selection at CVS. And being the cheap, yet adventurous bastards we are, we opted for the $4 bottle. As MRNO said, it was.... enthusiastic.

We sat for a bit and discussed what we want to do with the space. I talked a little about a new project idea I'm pitching at work. We spoke about the vision for the little house we're renting, and how we both love the fixer-upper aspect but wish we owned it. He told me how we can fix the stairs to be to our liking, and we generally had a lovely evening sorting things out.

My sister, who's not at all sold on the "moving in with a guy" thing, isn't terribly pleased that I'm living with him. I told MRNO that I can assure her that "it's okay, when he buys me alcohol, it's the good stuff". He promised that next time, he'll ply me with expensive wine. Considering our lack of romantic interest, (not to mention my morals) him attempting to "ply" me isn't in the near future. Sleeping with my roommate is not something I'm interested in- though I'll fully admit that the man is amazing eye candy.

For now, I'm off to bed to try and catch some z's. I seriously felt narcolyptic this morning-- I woke up to my alarm, sat up, and woke up thirty minutes later. I've also been having seriously vivid dreams. And despite the anonymity of this blog, I'll refrain from going into detail. XD

Have a beautiful night, all.

Because filing is dull...

Today I've discovered that I have narcolyptic tendencies. I woke up this morning, and then woke up thirty minutes later. Oops. It's been like that all week. One day I SWEAR I will get to work on time. In the meantime, it's comforting to know that I have a job which lets me make up hours during the evening.

I'm pitching an idea to my boss for an ad campaign. Personally I think it would be amazingly successful, but I may be a bit biased. :)

This weekend I have a random modeling gig that I'm actually pretty psyched about. I'm not by any means model material, but give me enough makeup and I'm passable for photographers who are looking to build their portfolio. That counts as having a life, right? =)

My sunday will (hopefully) be spent checking out a church in my new area. I've been slacking off about attending, and I'm determined to change that in the very near future. After church, there's a great little thrift shop about a block and a half away that I'm crazy excited to go check out. woohoo!

*sigh* back to the daily grind, I suppose. Cheers!

Dinner and a Movie

Tonight after work(yay for long staff meetings) I went with some coworkers to McCormick and Schmick's for Happy Hour. Talk about amazing. One of the little surprises of DC is discovering hamburgers for $1.95. Two words. Yum-Yum. :) I had a blackened chicken sandwich with fries and a coke, and a mini berries and cream for a dessert. Total: $6.40

Again. Yummy. A glass of the house wine is $6, and they have amazing martini's for less than $10. Pretty nice deal considering the food doesn't cost more than $4.95, and most of their items fall into the $1.95 range. I work for a non-profit-- I'll take whatever deals I can find. :)

After dinner I headed on home and had some time to catch up with my grandpa and my best-sister-friend. We discovered long ago that we were much more like sisters than friends, and I've come to value that term so much. You're stuck with your family no matter what. It doesn't matter if you're irritated with each other, or think you might be making bad decisions. While you might drop friends at some point in your life, the label of "family" means that you're generally stuck with each other for better or for worse. So, while not at all blood related (which is good, because I used to have a MAJOR crush on her brother, haha) she is my sister.

I haven't caught up with her in a while, so it was great to leisurely walk home and chat.

Once home, I've been unpacking clothes, and have found myself completely dismayed at how wrinkled everything is. I know that I had an iron at one point, but I'm afraid I might have left it at my old place, and considering the terms I left my old roommate.... well... I'm thinking I'll just buy a new iron.

My old roomie and I used to get along really well, but over the course of time, whether it be the lack of space to move around in, or the fact that I never did my chores on time(oops), she decided that she couldn't stand to be in my presence and was completely cold every time I saw her or emailed her.

After I moved out, I emailed her and said that I was sorry things had gone so badly between us because I valued her as a friend, and was happy to be her friend if she ever decided she wanted to rekindle the good relationship that we used to have. I haven't heard back yet, and honestly didn't expect to, but, needless to say, I'll be looking elsewhere for an iron. Of course, as soon as I buy one, I'll unpack the box that I absentmindedly left the iron in, haha. That's how life goes sometimes, I guess. At least, that's how mine goes.

MRNO is watching Ironman at the moment-- A movie that I have yet to see, but would very much like to. I'll borrow it at some point, I'm sure. In addition to blogging, I'm at the moment talking to a friend (ROTCBoy) who has strangely become one of my, dare I say it?, best friends. Considering our history, I tend to gulp at the idea.

We've known each other since we were about 15/16 and have had a volatile relationship ever since. We get along well on paper but our personalities used to clash like crazy. As we've both matured, (and I've moved 3000 miles away) we've started talking more and more to the point that it's strange if more than a couple days go by without some sort of contact between us. And we talk about just about EVERYTHING. It's been wonderful. He's been really supportive of MRNO, which is great, because I expected his conservative self to reject the idea immediately.

The day has been a beautiful one, mostly because life is what you make it, and I choose to color my world beautiful. Will you color yours today?

Need a life in Washington DC

...Or at least, that's what everyone keeps telling me.

I moved today- which I consider to be a life, thank you very much- into a great little townhouse in Virginia. Okay... "great" might be a stretch of the imagination. But it certainly has potential. My roommate, a friend and coworker who shall hereby be known as Male Roommate Number One (or MRNO), and I moved all my crap over from my old place. I'm not entirely sure how a person at the age of 20 has as much crap as I find myself with. Not that I consider my possessions crappy-- I just don't find it necessary to have so much ... STUFF. There are people starving down the street, and we had to make three trips in his pickup truck to cart everything over. yeesh.

My (now) former roomie was a trip. We started off as awesome friends and somehow she can barely stand me now. I mean, I know that I wasn't the perfect roommate by any means. I didn't do all my chores in our tiny little apartment. But I generally picked up after myself, and she really doesn't have anything to complain about, imo. I've tried to be nice to her in recent months as she has gotten colder and colder towards me, but I'm afraid that it has kind of morphed into a bit of a revenge thing. The colder she is, the cheerier and friendlier I try to be. Twisted, no?

Honestly, I DO like her. I don't know what happened between us, or if the cramped space just got to her, and she started being uncomfortable at home. God knows *I* was. Speaking of God, He's been super good to me. I have an amazing MRNO, I have awesome rent, and a great location that's close to both my jobs.

The current mission? To find a life! Easier said than done for someone like me who would rather blog about a lack of life than actually find one. I'm also a bit of a workaholic, so working two jobs IS a life for me. It's what I enjoy and I've been crazy blessed to have two amazing jobs and two amazing sets of coworkers. One of whom is now my roomie. rock on.

My likes: Sarcasm, randomness, food, weapons, being cosy and happy, children, pretty days, happy memories, facebook, green, good books, mixed drinks, friends, picnics, camping, fire, blankets and pillows, popcorn, making people laugh, the princess bride, thrift shop shopping,

My dislikes: Stupidity, people who care more about the environment than people, stupid drama, coconut, being told to get a life, apathy, rudeness, ten dollar tequila shots(I love the shots part.. just not the ten dollar price tag), lack of instant teleporters, trying to end blog posts.